Welcome to your Full Moon reading for guidance on self-sabotage. I created this spread intuitively and specifically for the subject of self-sabotage. There are many forms of self-sabotage; what we choose to eat and drink, negative thinking, procrastination, impulsiveness, over-spending… the list goes on. If you are reading this post now, there are important messages coming through the cards and into this post that will resonate with your essence. First I will explain the positions, and then I will describe what the cards have to say regarding self-sabotage and how you can work to overcome it.
- False Belief Card: Five of Cups Reversed
- Present Reality / Truth Card: 5 of Wands Reversed
- Freedom Card: Page of Cups Reversed
- Strength Card: The Magician
- Blockage (Root Cause of the False Belief): 4 of Swords
Self-sabotage often begins with a subconscious false belief, that is rooted very deeply within ourselves. This belief could have begun as far back as childhood, and could have been caused by anything from a traumatizing event, to a repeated phrase someone said to you, to a simple observation that impacted you greatly. You start to focus on the false belief so strongly, that it begins to manifest in harmful ways that actually damage your thought processes, your body, and eventually your spirit or essence. Other times the false belief might simply just provoke a subconscious response that you’ve conditioned within yourself to avoid feelings or facing the truth of a situation. It starts to seem as if healing waters are flowing everywhere around you, but never wash over you nor move through you… and since your actions will always match your beliefs… you repeat the damaging behavior. Your thoughts begin to tangle themselves, and you trip over them again and again. Soon, the false belief seems so real you accept it as a hard truth.
Guidance: The Five of Cups reminds us to keep moving… and not to get stuck. Consider the best choice for your body, mind, and spirit as a whole. Surround yourself with people and situations that promote the lifestyle you want to live!
Present Reality / Truth
Our perception can become so clouded when we engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, that we deny ourselves the beauty of our present reality. We take for granted our unique personal strengths and neglect to see the fireflies of truth sparkling amidst the darkness of our false belief(s). This causes us to feel uninspired, unmotivated, and lacking direction.
Guidance: Accepting our present reality gives us fire and courage to make big changes. When we accept our present reality, we can more easily see what is and isn’t working in order to make the necessary changes to restore balance and harmony to the body-mind-spirit. Accepting who we are helps us recognize our personal values… which shapes our actions… which gives us ambition, motivation, and determination. 5 of Wands reminds us to be confident in who we are regardless of the environment we are in, to follow our personal set of morals, and to embrace the darker parts of ourselves so we can work with them and create better habits.
To experience true freedom is to cultivate personal awareness. When you are aware of your body, you know which foods upset you. When you are aware of your environment, the best path becomes clear. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can let them go and trust your Higher Self and develop a stronger connection to the Universal Mind / Oneness, Nature. When we lack self-awareness, our interest in nurturing the body-mind-spirit decreases, and we become vulnerable to our false belief(s)…creating poor or harmful habits. Watching a school of fish in deep water, you see how they travel swiftly and deliberately. Together they choreograph a beautiful dance beneath the water, although each fish in the school is so hyper-aware of himself and his surroundings at the same time that he becomes one with his surroundings in order to maneuver through them. Extreme snowboarders have developed this skill; they understand the snowy terrain as their body reacts to it in one swift motion. Cultivating this deep sense of awareness allows us to be free.
Guidance: As backwards as it sounds, it is self-discipline that teaches us how to be free. Whether it is deepening our spiritual practice, refining an artistic practice, developing an exercise routine that awakens the senses, or honing in on a personal skill: it is through discipline that we learn more about who we are. When we become masters of our own expression it can be applied to everything we do, see, and feel… which ultimately raises our conscious awareness (freedom).
The Magician turned up in the Strength position. Either we become strongly focused on what we perceive to be weaknesses when we are engaging in self-sabotage — or we become entirely avoidant and ignore the messages coming from our Higher Self and/or Body which disconnects the Body-Mind-Spirit.
Guidance: Meditate on the sacred geometric shape of Metatron’s Cube to reawaken your personal strengths. Here is an exercise you can use, as well as an image of Metatron’s Cube.
Manifestation with the Cube:
Detailed directions here with a personal example. Following this is an abbreviated version for your personal use.
1. Have a manifesting goal ready. Phrase it in positive times for what is chosen, not what is not desired.
For example: I choose to receive the natural abundance that exists in the universe.
Instead of: I release poverty.
Since energy follows intention, the words create intention. Energy will follow “receive natural abundance” in the same way as “release poverty”.
But test this. When the first phrase is said how does the heart feel? How does the heart feel with the second phrase? Is there any tension in the body with either one? Personally, I feel a tightness in my chest with the second statement. I feel a lightness with the first.
Go with grace, ease and lightness. Every time. Find a way to phrase the focus that promotes lightness in the heart.
2. Generate feelings of love and gratitude in whatever way is appropriate.
Meditation, chanting, prayer, intention, whatever it takes.
3. Concentrate on Metatron’s Cube, especially the cube part. (See example 3) Study it with the mind. Notice the circles and lines. Close the eyes. Bring it in the heart. Then ask these questions:
Q) What can I do to ground my focus?
Q) In what ways is my focus already grounded?
Q) How can I make this more of a foundation for how I live?
Insight: Using the focus of choosing to receive the natural flow of abundance already in existence, asking these questions may promote a flow of insight and connection to the higher self. For instance, when I asked these questions, I received the insight that in order to live with the structure and foundation of abundance, it’s helpful to study the movement of earth. Earth doesn’t stay still. Neither does abundance. Abundance is always giving and receiving. Like the earth. Sustaining life. Receiving life-giving elements. Natural flow means sometimes a lot and sometimes not so much. Go with the flow.
Q) How can I open myself to the different forms of my focus?
Insight: Abundance comes in many forms. I open myself fully to all of them.
I open myself to receive in many different ways.
Q) What cellular memories are limiting and preventing me from this foundation of my focus?
Insight: It may not be necessary to ever know what the cellular memories are. It’s more important to have a way to release them and replace them with a higher vibrational choice. I choose to release any cell memories preventing me from receiving abundance and I choose to receive whatever is for my highest good and healing.
Insight: Past lives and their cell memories are carried within DNA also. Since we frequently have no knowledge of those lifetimes, it may appear more difficult to release them. However again, it’s not necessary to recognize what the memory is. Just be willing to release it and replace it with higher vibrations.
Q) How can I maintain my balance with my focus?
Insight: Abundance has its own natural rhythm, like the earth. Recognize it and live with that. Don’t oppose natural rhythm. Don’t try to create a force-fit of rhythm and flow.
4. Write down your insights or awarenesses if necessary. Otherwise, stay in meditation to integrate the information.
Letting Go of Blockages
In this busy life, time for spiritual practice often gets buried beneath our daily responsibilities. We start to lose touch with our connection to the Universal Mind / Oneness / Nature — and to our own inner awareness — over time if we do not devote ourselves to time for spiritual practice. This should come from a place of great joy as we deepen our practice, and not just a feeling of “I have to work on myself today.”
Guidance: Create time in your daily life to consciously acknowledge that you will choose what does serve you, and to reflect on what you are grateful for. A gratitude journal works well for this practice as it helps you get to know your inner voice and how to communicate between the Higher Self and the Body.
I hope this post on Self-Sabotage presents a system for better self-care, personal motivation, and releasing blockages that prevent us from moving forward from the past or simply setting new goals (and following through with them). As always, I am happy to consult with the Tarot and to read for you in this way! Stay tuned for your March Tarot forecast.